Back on Track at the End of March

 

And breathe! That's much better. This last month I've been running on empty. Busy working weeks, and daily hospital visits have, understandably, taken their toll. But yesterday, for the first time in what's felt like ages, I managed some time by myself. Well, not completely by myself, as I had my not-so-little-anymore sidekick with me, of course :) Generally, however, life is very much back on an even keel. I'm still a little too busy at work, but that is something which will need to be addressed, moving forward. 

Thankfully, spring has arrived, and so have the lighter evenings. It felt wonderful to step outside into the garden yesterday evening and watch as the sun began to set, and the solar lights started to flicker on. What made it even more satisfying was that I'd spent much of the afternoon weeding, digging and sowing. Over the last couple of years, I've made much more of an effort when tidying the garden for the winter months, and it really has paid off - there wasn't an awful lot that needed doing. Certainly a lot less than I'd initially thought, at any rate. And perhaps I should also mention that it smelled amazing - freshly dug earth, combined with freshly cut grass - Heaven! 

This year we're hoping to grow spring onions, spinach, carrots and beetroot. Unfortunately, the strawberry seeds I sowed were unsuccessful, so I will need to pop to the garden centre and buy some plants instead. While I'm there, I will look at buying a few annuals, to add some much needed early colour, and also a floating plant to add to the container pond, which has now been given a thorough clean (I didn't look after it properly last year). I've also sowed some sunflower and nasturtium seeds in several of the sunnier spots, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will grow. 

The sweet peas are already beginning to climb, and the apple trees are growing new leaves. The lemon trees are still sitting patiently in the back porch, just waiting for warmer weather. 

The time I spent in the garden was so lovely, but what I really enjoyed about yesterday, was getting out for a much needed walk. We were forecast a sunny day, and I had been longing for some sea air, so we took a short drive out to the hamlet of Sandside, which is nestled on the Kent estuary. I parked my car on the side of the road, and we walked the permissive path along the coastline, towards Arnside station. It was a rather windy day, so although the weather was bright and sunny, it was still incredibly cold, so I was glad we'd thought to wrap up well. At the station we used the bridge to cross the tracks, and made our way into Arnside, along the promenade to the small stone pier.

The views from the pier are lovely. Which is just as well, as I will never venture onto the sands here. 

The bay is notorious for it's hidden channels and quicksands, as well as the speed of the incoming tide.

If it hadn't been quite so windy, then we would have treated ourselves at the bakery and sat for a while on one of the benches there. But instead, we took shelter in a small cafe, just across the road from the pier, where I enjoyed a cup of coffee and some very delicious cake. 

On our return, looking up the estuary towards the viaduct, with the Lakeland fells beyond. 

With the wind now behind us, our walk became a little easier. The morning was still quiet, and as we walked along arm in arm, losing ourselves in mindless chatter, I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted. 

Back soon.

J. X

A Relaxing Week

If ever we needed reminding that spring is still a little while off, then the weather today has done just that. It's been dark and windy, and the rain has been lashing against the windows all day. Thoroughly miserable. We've been hunkered down indoors, which hasn't been a bad thing, as I've had lots to be getting on with. I start back at work again tomorrow, so it's been good to get on top of all things house and admin related. I've made a big batch of soup, finally finished the painting in the kitchen, and I've been planning another couple of short trips for later in the year. There has also been much juggling of finances, as I'm looking at getting a new (to me) car. I'll be taking Lily to see it tomorrow before I make a final decision. Exciting!

And it has been really lovely spending this last week at home. Most of my friends had acted surprised when I'd told them I hadn't got any plans for my week off. But just as I'd thought, it has been exactly what I needed. Having nothing in the diary meant that we could take advantage of any sunnier days, and we've enjoyed some very pleasant walks. We've been down by the lake, enjoyed a quiet early morning ramble along the canal, and last night, we watched the most beautiful sunset over the sea. A perfect prescription for wellbeing. 

I've made plans for the garden. I had initially hoped that I'd be able to dig over the raised bed and have a general tidy around this week, but I think that will need to wait for some drier weather. I've already sowed some sweet peas, peppers and strawberries indoors, and I've  bought several packets of seeds, which will be sowed directly outdoors sometime in early spring.

Another activity Lily and I have enjoyed this week, has been watching the first series of All Creatures Great and Small, on iPlayer. It's been so good. We've tucked ourselves up, nice and cosy under a blanket each evening, and been transported back in time to the beautiful Yorkshire Dales. It's encouraged us both in wanting to explore the area a little more, and is the main reason I've been making plans for another trip. 

Back soon.

J. X

Cold, Sparkly Mornings

As we near December, the weather has turned much colder here. I'm still riding my bike to work, although I'm wearing more and more layers as winter approaches. I have to be careful. For the most part, the road is fairly free from frost and ice, but I'm often distracted by views like this.

I wanted to blog before tomorrow, as a few of you have asked if I will be posting daily throughout December, like I usually do. I'm sad to say that I won't be doing this year. As much as I enjoy it, I just have too much going on right now, and I won't have the opportunity. My good intentions of enjoying a quieter month are also quite unlikely, as I only have the weekends to be able to get Christmas 'sorted'. Posting daily would put far too much unnecessary pressure on myself, and for me that is not what blogging is about. 

It won't just be preparations, however, as I'm being very firm with myself, this year, and keeping things as stress free as possible. There are also a lot of other fun things happening, which I'm very excited about. Since I last posted I've made a start with gift buying, which seems to be a little bit easier this year, especially as I have fewer people to buy for. I've purchased a very inexpensive box of Christmas Crackers, simply because I liked the pattern, and nobody really bothers with the novelty gifts anyway. And a lovely work colleague has taken orders for Christmas Cakes. She is, I've been told, an excellent baker, so I don't have any need to spend time making one myself. Then I've sat myself down and made a list of what I'd really like this Christmas, which is to make a homemade door wreath, a trip to go ice skating, and enjoying a drink (or two) of my Winter Spice Vodka. Oh, and I mustn't forget the Baileys and Quality Street! Everything else will remain optional. Christmas Day will be a pared back affair. Not quite my ideal vegetable lasagne and red wine scenario, but certainly much more simple. Yikes, I almost forgot the After Eights!

On a more reassuring note, I've just been checking in my diary, and so far it is completely empty between Christmas Day and New Year. Completely empty! I'm sure that will change at some point, but I'm going to try and keep it that way for as long as possible. 

J. X

November-ish

 

I'm writing this beside the fireplace. It's been such a cold day. Outside it's beginning to go dark, and the sky is looking heavy and grey. It is typical of November. Snow is forecast overnight and it feels like winter is approaching. 

I don't have very much to tell you. Life has been ticking along quite mundanely, and I've been intentionally keeping it that way. I'm constantly being reminded of the quote, 'If you don't make time for your wellness, you'll be forced to make time for your illness.' So I'm doing my utmost to take care of myself. I'm prioritising getting enough sleep, and eating healthy meals. On Sundays, I've been making a big batch of soup, and dividing it up for my lunches during the week. This week, it's curried carrot and lentil, and it's absolutely delicious. Having something already prepared makes for a quick and nourishing lunch. It also means that I'm less likely to make unhealthy choices.

I'm still at the stage of only thinking about Christmas and If I'm being honest, I'm slightly panicking that I haven't yet begun any actual preparations. No matter how hard I try not to, I always put myself under too much pressure at this time of year. Perhaps this might be the year that I finally learn to let things just 'be'. I've enjoyed a thorough peruse of the 'Christmas by Booths' book - IYKYK - but so far I'm lacking inspiration. Maybe I'll feel more festive later in the week, when we go to see the Christmas lights in the town. Or maybe tomorrow, IF we wake up to snow!

Even though it's turned much colder here, I've been getting out for a few walks. When I'm feeling lethargic, I find a good brisk walk helps to energise me and lift my mood. The woods where we often go are looking really quite sparse now, and most of the trees are bare. The ground is thick with mud and leaves, and there's a damp, earthy smell in the air.

It can be a challenge motivating myself to go outside when the weather is so depressing, but if I'm wrapped up well (and as long as there's very little chance of rain) then I soon feel the benefit. And, of course, there is nothing more satisfying than returning home to a cosy house. Warming cold fingers in front of the fire. Or even better still, around a mug of hot chocolate :) 

Last week, I enjoyed Lily's first secondary school parent's evening, and I'm delighted to say that she's settled in brilliantly and doing really well. The teaching staff made some really lovely comments, and I especially liked the one about Lily being just 'an incredibly lovely person'. It made me feel quite emotional. 

Back soon. 

J. X

Moments

It's been an incredibly busy and stressful two weeks, although I'm hopeful things might be a little more settled moving forwards, for a short while, at least. The chance of life slowing down any time soon has all but gone.  I feel wrung out. I don't sleep well at the best of times, and it has been even more of a challenge given the recent turn of events, not to mention I haven't been eating well, which has been through lack of opportunity, not choice. I've had little time to take stock, but I'm very aware things needs to change. I need to pare back, prioritise and seek out some moments of calm. 

I will intentionally give swimming a miss today. As much as I will miss it, as I've come to really enjoy my weekly sessions, I just need a moment in my day where I am not rushing about in order to achieve something. I imagine that anyone who is a carer for a friend or relative can resonate with this. Constantly putting the other person's needs before our own, comes naturally, but not without cost. Please don't think I am complaining. I realise that I am in a privileged position where I am able to be around to help, but balancing all my responsibilities is proving rather difficult. 

You can imagine my relief when last weekend arrived and I had half a day when I didn't need to be anywhere. Even better, the sun was shining, it was a beautiful early autumn morning. A moment to slow down, take a breath, and (try to) relax, so a walk through the deer park seemed like a delightful idea. Unlike the previous day, there was very little breeze and it was warm. It was so lovely. Of course, I had dressed for cooler weather, so it wasn't long before I needed to remove a layer or two. I was slightly miffed that it wasn't the weather for hat wearing, as my hair might have been much better hidden beneath one. It is looking quite 'neglected' at the moment. In fact, I probably won't be needing to dress up this Hallowe'en, I just need a broomstick :)  

Our walk took us through an avenue of trees, then along by the river. Leaves were gently falling all around us, but it will still be several weeks before autumn displays it's true colours. The deer are dark in colour, and as they were alongside the wall, well away from the path, I didn't even try to take a photograph of them. It is always so lovely to see them though. They make in impressive sight when they are running through the park.

Something else impressive were the cakes we treated ourselves to, from the bakery at Levens Hall. Carrot cake, and Beetroot and Chocolate cake. So yummy! The hot chocolates we had were delicious as well. 

We sat in the courtyard for a while, enjoying watching the bees busying themselves among the flowers.

Then we walked back along the opposite side of the river. The trees beautifully reflected in the water. I managed to take this photograph just a moment before one of those stones landed with a huge splash, right in the middle, there. Lily just couldn't help herself. Don't worry, there weren't any ducks close by. 

Almost as soon as I'd returned to the car, it was as though a bubble burst. The moment was gone and I was back to worrying about things, once again. It is uncertain as to how the situation will be navigated, moving forwards, but for the time being I will continue to do everything I can, while relishing those in between moments, in order to re-fill my cup. 

The first thing on my list, will be sorting my hair out. 

J. X

Moving On

 

I am so relieved that we finally reached the end of January and we can move onwards towards spring. I have never been fond of this time of year. Gloomy, wet days. Leaving for work in the dark and returning home long after the sun has set. Saturdays and Sundays are usually filled with preparations for the week ahead, leaving little time for more pleasurable activities. And the cold! It isn't so much the low temperatures but usually it's  the damp and wind that fights its way through the warmest of clothing, making my body tense up and leaving me feeling achy. 

My initial plan of action, this year, was to power on through the month regardless. Surely if I could simply keep going, I wouldn't get so caught up in my dislike of January, the days would feel less depressing and, just maybe, we might even have a more wintry winter :) This did not work out as I'd hoped. The snow didn't arrive and recently I have been plagued with extreme tiredness, and persistently feeling under the weather. I am eating healthily - meal planning and getting one large weekly shop have been a huge help - and exercising, but I just can't seem to shift my malaise, which is why I haven't been spending a lot of time online. I have spoken with my GP, who expressed concern, and I am now waiting on the results of some blood tests. 

Moving forward, I intend to look upon January as my reset month. A time of quiet and calm. No expectations. Perhaps I really don't need to read up on ways with which to beat the January blues, I could simply hibernate instead.

J. X

Early January

I never meant to be absent for so long. Almost as soon as we'd rung in the new year, I was back at work and it feels like I've hardly stopped since then. Even so, January is now beginning to drag on just a bit much for my liking, and I find myself yearning for spring. Not long to wait now, or so I keep reminding myself :)

On New Year's Day we went ice skating. It was a lovely way to spend the afternoon and it felt good to be back on the ice again after my accident just over a year ago. My back is completely fine now but my confidence has definitely been knocked.

It's been an incredibly cold week here, with temperatures down to -6. We've experienced snow, frost and ice and thankfully the new boiler I had fitted last year hasn't had any issues. The same couldn't be said for my old TV, however, which after 16 years of loyal service, finally gave up, and there is now a shiny new model in it's place. 

It is early on Saturday morning and the wintry weather has been replaced by cloud and rain. Lily's tennis lesson has been cancelled, and so a more relaxed weekend is in order. It comes as quite a relief actually, as it will give me a chance to catch up. There are a few chores I could do with getting out of the way. Then again, besides the weekly shop, it's no big deal if they don't get done. The main thing I need to do is to write a menu plan. Since returning to work my hours have changed (yet again!). Only slightly on this occasion, but I am finding it even more of a challenge to make healthy choices when it comes to eating and I have noticed my energy levels have slumped. I realise preparation is the key, but with being short on time I clearly I haven't been prepared enough. I will clean out the fridge and make that my priority today. 

J. X

The In-Between Days

It's been another quiet day, spent indoors. While the rain, once again, lashed at the windows, I busied myself with tidying the house and attempting to restore some sort of order, now that the festivities are behind us. I'm resisting the urge to start taking down the decorations. I don't usually do this until after we've seen in the New Year but for some reason I'd quite like to have the house back to normal before then. I'll leave them up for now, although  I might change my mind again tomorrow. Right now, I'm not even certain what day it is.

I've been looking ahead to next year and making some plans. I've already booked two short trips away, which I'm really excited about. There's another mini adventure I have in mind for me and Lily. And I've even been persuaded to sign myself up for something, which will be a bit of a challenge. This might just be the year I say 'yes' to more opportunities, instead of coming up with reasons why I shouldn't bother. 

J. X

Hunkered Down

 

I'm not entirely sure where the day has gone and, fuelled by copious mugs of coffee, I've achieved very little besides making a considerable dent in the Roses chocolates. 

In sharp contrast to yesterday, the weather has been terrible, or else I would have gone out for a walk. The heavy rain and strong winds have been unrelenting, and I've been hunkered down indoors, tree lights on and candles lit, trying in vain to cling on to any remaining festive spirit. I've also used the weather as an excuse to try and enjoy a well earned res, but I think I need some lessons on how to relax - I've been feeling twitchy all day :)

Blogger has been up to it's old tricks. I don't know what happened to my previous post, but I think I've managed to salvage it. That said, I've still had to retrieve some earlier published comments from spam - does anyone know why  that happens? 

Tomorrow, I'm putting in place a plan of action. I'm going to look ahead to next year and make a list of things I'd quite like to accomplish. Things I'd like to do, places I'd like to go etc. I've had a few ideas already, but I also think it's about time I stepped out of my comfort zone.

J. X

Catch Up

I would just like to say thank you for your all kind words and messages, they are very much appreciated. It's been a little over a month since I was last in this space. At first, October seemed to drag on and on, and yet, as the days became darker, all of  sudden we were into November, and it felt as if it was over in the blink of an eye. It's been a challenging month for me, as I have been grappling with my health. It's nothing serious. At least I don't think it is. Just some sort of a virus that I can't seem to shake. I'm also not ignoring the fact that had I not been so run down in the first place, I would have been back to my old self long before now. As it is, I'm still far from feeling in good health, but this week I feel like I may have turned the corner. Here's hoping.

It was for that reason that I took a step back from posting here. Looking after Lily and keeping things ticking over have been about all I could manage. 

Anyway, a brief catch up. These autumnal pictures seem at odds with the weather we're currently experiencing - almost wintry- but I'm going to post them anyway :)

In the middle of October, before my health took a downward spiral, we took a trip to our nearest pumpkin patch. It was a glorious blue sky morning for our visit, and there was even a ground frost, which for a short while at least made the whole field sparkle. We chose five pumpkins in all. One of which was so very small, it was far too cute to leave behind. 

We combined our trip out with a visit to Acorn Bank. The trees were just beginning to shed their leaves and as it hadn't been that long since we visited the flour mill, instead we took the woodland walk towards the wildlife hide. It was lovely and quiet there with just the two of us, but we still didn't manage to spot any wildlife. 

The following week we went to The Peak District, staying in the lovely village of Winster. Now, if someone had said to me the evening before that I could have cancelled with a full refund, I would have snapped their hand off. Unusually for me, I really wasn't feeling in the mood for going anywhere, and looking back, that should have been an indicator that something wasn't quite right.

I am glad we went though. We went to Bakewell, Matlock Bath and the village of Eyam. One morning it rained, and so we stayed dry by enjoying a visit to the nearby National Trust property of Keddleston Hall. Then in the afternoon, by the time we went for a walk up on the moor, it had all but cleared.

We stopped in an old miner's cottage, so evenings were spent cosying up in front of the wood burner. You can just about see our pumpkin which we decided to take along with us. I told you it was small!

Our last day was spent in Matlock Bath at The Heights of Abraham. Admission to the Heights is by cable car, which was an experience in itself, given the glorious weather. We could see for miles. Here we took guided tours of two underground caverns and also enjoyed panoramic views. Thankfully, I was able to keep going fuelled by a combination of sunshine and coffee.

Although it was genuinely lovely to get away, and I don't wish to appear ungrateful, but I was quite relieved to come home again. When you're under the weather, the comforting familiarity of home cannot be underestimated, and I was also missing my cats. 🐈

Hallowe'en was the busiest I remember in while. I'm sure we received at least eight groups of callers, all of whom were wearing the most amazing costumes, and were all very sweet and polite. I almost gave up on my dinner that evening, as every time I sat down to eat, would hear the door knocker again.  

Last weekend we enjoyed a gentle walk around Grasmere. I don't think I could manage to get up on the fells right now but I was desperate to get out, even if it was just for a short while. The Lake District is displaying it's autumn colour and there is nowhere I would rather be to try and recharge my batteries.

Bonfire night was spent toasting marshmallows and lighting sparklers in our garden.

So far, the remainder of this month is looking fairly quiet, so I'm hoping I can use this time to recuperate and regain my strength before December begins. I'm also going to attempt to slow down and pace myself more, which is never more important for me than during the cold winter months. 

J. X