The Last Month

I wanted to write a quick post just to say thank you so much for your incredibly kind words and messages. You've all been so lovely, while I've needed to pause, figure out how to navigate my new normal, and ensure that any impact on my girl is minimal. I'm feeling hopeful that I will receive a positive update within the next few weeks and will be able to concentrate on happier things moving forward. 

It feels like an age since I was last in this space, and I so want to catch up with all of your news. But you can probably understand this may take a while, so please be patient with me. 

Christmas was always going to be different this last year. For once, I wasn't hosting - not at all. So, it was all really quite liberating and exactly what I needed. 

A few days beforehand, we travelled to Edinburgh and soaked up the atmosphere drinking mulled wine, eating roasted chestnuts, and, of course, enjoying a ride on the carousel. The city always looks gorgeous, but it's simply magical bedecked with festive sparkle. And the light show from the castle was spectacular.

On Christmas Eve, I enjoyed what has, in recent years, become a traditional brunch with the girls. It is always a relaxed and happy occasion. A chance for a good natter and catch-up. The food was delicious - I had scrambled eggs on sourdough toast. 

Christmas Day was lovely. For various reasons, it is usually my least favourite day over the festive season, but just this once, I spent it doing exactly what I wanted. So, after a relaxed morning opening a few treasured gifts and eating freshly baked pastries, I packed up a picnic and we went out for a walk. It was much quieter than usual, but there were still quite a few people out and about, all happily greeting us with a 'Merry Christmas!' The day was sunny, and clear, but because we were wrapped up so well, we didn't feel the cold. We stopped down by the lake to enjoy our sandwiches and some Christmas soup (parsnip, chestnut and cranberry), and I even shared some of my mince pie pastry with a robin! As Christmas dinners go, it couldn't have been any more perfect. 

In the evening we got cosy by the fireplace, 'feasting' on lasagne and garlic bread - not a roast dinner in sight! We sat with just the glow from the tree lights, enjoying the decorations. Some to remind us of our wonderful trips to Copenhagen and Amsterdam earlier in the year, and some as a reminder of treasured friendships across the miles - thank you, Carrie. 

On Boxing Day it was more of the same. An early start at Tarn Hows meant that we were the only ones there for a while. It was as though the world fell silent. We watched as the sun rose above the fells, casting long shadows on the frosty ground, before retreating home, once again. To comfort and rest. 

The following day we went ice skating. Another one of our traditions, and one which I am more than happy to participate in. It is such a lot of fun and makes me feel so happy to see everyone enjoying themselves. 

After a quiet few days, on New Year's Eve we walked down to a local pub for a quiet meal, leaving before it became too busy with revellers, who would be far more dedicated than we were.

After enjoying an early night. New Year's morning arrived gently, with another walk, this time along the shore. And it certainly blew away any cobwebs, before we were able to warm up with freshly buttered toast, and coffee in our favourite little cafe. 

Since the beginning of the year I've accomplished very little. Just the smallest amount of activity leaves me feeling exhausted.  My focus has been getting through each day, as mindfully as I can. There are things I'd like to do this year and places I'd love to visit, but I haven't made any plans as yet. I'm hoping that will change before long. 

Back soon.

J. X