These last few weeks seem to have flown by. A lot has happened and yet much remains the same. Another trip around the sun for me, and time to reflect and re-evaluate. This year was an especially significant year, and also the first birthday on which I didn't receive a message from my dad. He was always awake and up early each day - I wonder who I take after! :) - and would always text a heartfelt 'Happy Birthday!' message appear to my phone first thing in the morning - I think he found it easier to express his feelings this way rather than face to face. And then, on top of that, a lack of recognition from others of what should have been a special day, although expected, was still upsetting.
I suppose I've been feeling a little flat since then. The main reason for my absence in this space has been an opportunity to reach some sort of clarity and bring some calm to my racing mind. And also, as is usual by this point in the summer, I am ready for a return to more structure and rhythm to my days. This happens every year, so I shouldn't be surprised. But even then, I have uncertainty in that I am still waiting for my new working hours to be confirmed. I would like to think this will happen in the next few days :)
On a much more positive note, I have been away on holiday, baked bread for the first time in ages, gathered blackberries and been for lots of lovely walks. But more on these in another post. I just wanted to stop by and say 'Hello!' and explain why I haven't been around much. I hope all is well in your corner. I'm looking forward to stopping by and having a good catch up.
J. X
It's lovely to see you back again.
ReplyDeleteHopefully you will get the info about your working hours really quickly. xx
Thank you, Joy. I do hope so, although I suspect it will all be last minute, as usual :)
DeleteLovely to see you back again and hope your new working hours will be sorted soon. Catriona
ReplyDeleteThank you, Catriona. Xx
DeleteHopefully you will feel brighter very soon.It is that time of the year.We are all ready for the new “term”.Things to get going again to give some structure to the week.
ReplyDeleteBarbarax
I'm looking forward to getting back to a routine now. Xx
DeleteIt is a betwixt time of year - that strange blend of seasons - I find I am yearning for the summer to remain and hesitating to accept that autumn is slipping in - routine (as in work) and I have to really work on looking for the good in this time of year. My mood is not helped by feeling poorly (shakes head) so I am self medicating with gallons of tea and marmite toast! Happy belated trip around the sun celebrations - xx
ReplyDeleteAs always, you explain it far better than I can, Kate :) Thank you for the birthday wishes, and I hope you are feeling much better soon. X
DeleteHi Jules - nice to have you back/ You certainly seem to have found time to prepare produce for the winter. I rermember from my teaching days after six weeks or so it is always good to get back in harness.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am very much ready to get back to work now. Although, I might need reminding of that on those cold, damp mornings. X
DeleteIt's very hard when the messages we usually receive from loved ones on our birthday no longer arrive, especially if it's the first time, it does take some getting used to. It makes other people's thoughtlessness even more apparent. I hope there were some lovely things to remember about your birthday though. I hope the holiday was good and that you made some happy memories, it certainly sounds as though you've been busy.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jo. My day was still enjoyable for other reasons. Xx
DeleteI am sorry you were let down by some upon whom you felt you could depend, not what you needed when you were facing your first birthday without Dad.
ReplyDeleteI know we are not the same as 'real' people in your life, but you have so many blog friends here who DO care. xx
Belatedly (because I do not know the exact date), many happy returns. 🎂 💚
Thank you, Jayne. I do hope I don't come across as entitled or spoiled at all, as I would argue that is far from the reality. It would just have been nice for the day to have been acknowledged in some small way. Xx
DeleteI don't mind if you do not publish this but Good Grief! The last adjectives I would ever apply to you are "entitled or spoiled".
DeleteBut I do understand when someone who you thought you could trust completely and who cared about you ignores a birthday - it's happened to me and it doesn't feel nice, and is not something you forget in a hurry.
I realise this is something I feel especially sensitive about. And even though material gifts have never been important to me, a little thought and consideration would have meant so much. Xx
DeleteHello Jules, we care about you very much here in this blogging world and belated birthday wishes from me. It was the anniversary of my Dad's passing just a couple of days ago and although many years have passed he was very much in my thoughts and you thought about your Dad on your special day, missing his special message to you. I'm sorry you were upset by the thoughtlessness of others. I hope your new hours will be sent to you soon and you will be back in a routine again xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, Eileen. I'm sure my feelings are heightened by the shifting of the seasons and my need for routine once again. Of course, I think of my dad all the time, but on days such as this it is especially difficult. X
DeleteWishing you a very special happy birthday. It must have been so hard this year, I do empathise. Fingers crossed your contract comes through soon. Hopefully you’ll make the most of your last few days of holiday. B x
ReplyDeleteThank you, Barbara. And yes, I have a busy few days planned :)
DeleteHappy Birthday Wishes from me :)
ReplyDeleteI do hope your new working hours will soon be sorted.
Have a good month of September.
All the best Jan
Thank you, Jan. X
DeleteHappy to see you here, my friend. And Happy and Blessed Birthday. I am also ready for more structure in my days. And am looking forward to your cozy, peaceful posts. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteIt's the same each year. By the end of summer term, I am so ready for the break and yet, towards the end of August, I am yearning for some structure and routine to my days again. X
DeleteHappy belated birthday wishes, Jules. (((HUGS))) Those firsts after the loss of a parent or loved one can be very difficult, especially if others in our lives don't realize and do something special to make us feel better about things. Too often, we make the effort to make everything nice for others and then, when they don't show the same concern, we feel deflated.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to enjoy a holiday and have gone on many walks, etc. Take it easy during these last few days of summer. Hopefully, you'll find out what your schedule will be in plenty of time to prepare for it. :)
Thank you for your kind words, Bless. I didn't expect bunting and balloons :) but some sort of effort from certain people would have been appreciated. For most of my life my birthday has been overlooked, so I guess I am especially sensitive about it. Xx
DeleteJules, Sending belated Happy Birthday wishes across the miles! I hope you did something special just for you, and if time was short and you didn't, it's not too late. Take some time just for you, doing whatever makes you happiest.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a bittersweet time...missing that special text from your dad, and on top of that, not hearing the "Good Wishes" from those around you. I've had that happen...and it hurts. I usually end up shaking my head and trying to move forward. I don't have any words of wisdom to share: for me, when I get that "flat" feeling, I try to quiet my noisy brain (which seems to always be worrying about the past and the future) and hope the periods of stillness get longer. I like simple things, so putting my energy into something else helps...your recent walks, picking blackberries, and baking bread are spot-on remedies! Sending wishes for days filled with simple joys, Mary
Thank you for your wise words, Mary. This is exactly what I have been trying to do, even if it isn't always easy :)
DeleteFortunately, I spent my special day somewhere rather lovely, so I will remember it for that reason alone. Xx
Hope everything works out, as you wish...
ReplyDelete🍁🍎🍁 HAPPY SEPTEMBER 🍁🍎🍁
Thank you. Xx
DeleteI am so very sorry to hear that your special birthday was not how you wanted it to be, that is so hard. I can hear that you are missing your Dad very much, it is times like birthdays when that hole gets so very much bigger. Wishing you belated birthday wishes. I too have been pausing and reflecting for very different reasons. I do hope you hear about your work hours soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you. There will always be those times when a loss hits harder. Xx
DeleteSorry you've been feeling a bit flat. It happens to the best of us. Sounds like things are already on the up though. Sending a virtual hug.
ReplyDeleteI've been keeping myself busy :)
DeleteA belated Happy Birthday. And I hope you hear about your hours at work soon. Still hoping for Summer to continue a little longer. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shazza. Yes, I've had confirmation now :)
DeleteI think summer is fading quickly now. Xx
Happy belated birthday, Jules! I'm happy to see you back in this space. My daughter starts homeschool on Tuesday, so I am very much looking forward to having more structure to our days. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Julia. We start back on Wednesday here. X
DeleteCan I add my birthday wishes as a blogging friend Jules. I'm sorry that your birthday was not acknowledged in the way it should have been. That first birthday after the loss of someone close is always difficult, I hope you remember all the good times you had with your dad. Wishing you a better week xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, Beverley. Xx
DeleteWell belated Happy Birthday Jules...honestly mine was rather underwhelming this year too, but hey ho..smile on face...life is good! x
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jackie. I think I will just have to spoil myself next year :)
DeleteHi Jules, Sorry you have been feeling a little low. I found the birthdays after my parents' deaths to be sad. It gets better with time. I'm sure he is watching over you. The homemade bread sound delicious. Kneading bread dough is so therapeutic.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, Stephenie. Xx
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