January

 

It's been a little while, so I'm tentatively peeking my head around the door. How is everyone? I hope the New Year is treating you well. 

My absence here, this month has, again, been intentional. I've always made no secret of the fact that the month of January is far from my favourite time of year. It is often cold, dark and damp, and the warm days of spring still seem so very far away. Last year, I had a great idea that I would power my way through this miserable winter month. I was going to make plans to stay busy, and to keep on keeping on, but by doing this, I was refusing to acknowledge that what I really needed to do was to slow down, relax, and embrace the season for what it is. 

The earth is still sleeping, and it is a time of rest. There is a whole year in front of us, so I'm not sure why I usually feel the need to rush things. With that in mind, this year, I made a conscious decision to take some time away from here, lean into the quiet days, and try my best to seek out the simple joys, just to make January feel that little bit more bearable. You could almost say I've been hibernating, except that I've still enjoyed some lovely, restorative walks - one of them a pleasant surprise, as my workplace was unexpectedly forced to close for the day, which meant I could enjoy some much needed winter sunshine.

And it's been okay. I've reached the end of the month unscathed, albeit a little tired (I always need sunshine to recharge my batteries), and I've kept my focus on work and home. Even on the brighter days, I've done just enough to get through, alleviating myself of any unnecessary pressure. This isn't always easy, as I do like to try and at least do something at the weekends, especially when the working week often feels never-ending.

Anyway, I'm feeling much more positive, as we move that tiny bit closer to spring. Have you noticed the daylight hours increasing? It was wonderful to see that it was still just about light here at 5pm last night. And the snowdrops are beginning to flower. Such a pretty sight beneath the trees.

And talking of flowers, I've discovered last season's sweet pea seeds, which I am intending to sow this weekend. I will also have to consider what I will be planting in the raised bed this year. Thankfully, it doesn't look like I've lost anything in the garden to the frosts this winter, although time will tell. The lemon trees are quite comfortable in the house for the time being, and are already showing signs of new growth, although still no flowers as yet. The garden needs a quick tidy but other than that, it doesn't look too bad, and I'm looking forward to spending more time out there once the weather picks up. 

It's lovely to see lots of feathered friends using the bird feeder just now. I like to keep it well stocked for them with fat balls and meal worms. Of course, I hardly saw any birds whilst I was taking part in the Big Garden Birdwatch, but my friend and I laugh that it's always the same for us every year :) Still, it's an hour to just sit and relax, and enjoy a mug of tea. 

Although things have been pleasingly quiet around here, I have been putting together some plans for several mini-adventures. I've booked a return overnight stay at Skiddaw House during the summer, and a few city breaks have been arranged throughout the year. One of which I am particularly excited about. 

Back soon.

J. X

Moving On

 

I am so relieved that we finally reached the end of January and we can move onwards towards spring. I have never been fond of this time of year. Gloomy, wet days. Leaving for work in the dark and returning home long after the sun has set. Saturdays and Sundays are usually filled with preparations for the week ahead, leaving little time for more pleasurable activities. And the cold! It isn't so much the low temperatures but usually it's  the damp and wind that fights its way through the warmest of clothing, making my body tense up and leaving me feeling achy. 

My initial plan of action, this year, was to power on through the month regardless. Surely if I could simply keep going, I wouldn't get so caught up in my dislike of January, the days would feel less depressing and, just maybe, we might even have a more wintry winter :) This did not work out as I'd hoped. The snow didn't arrive and recently I have been plagued with extreme tiredness, and persistently feeling under the weather. I am eating healthily - meal planning and getting one large weekly shop have been a huge help - and exercising, but I just can't seem to shift my malaise, which is why I haven't been spending a lot of time online. I have spoken with my GP, who expressed concern, and I am now waiting on the results of some blood tests. 

Moving forward, I intend to look upon January as my reset month. A time of quiet and calm. No expectations. Perhaps I really don't need to read up on ways with which to beat the January blues, I could simply hibernate instead.

J. X

Early January

I never meant to be absent for so long. Almost as soon as we'd rung in the new year, I was back at work and it feels like I've hardly stopped since then. Even so, January is now beginning to drag on just a bit much for my liking, and I find myself yearning for spring. Not long to wait now, or so I keep reminding myself :)

On New Year's Day we went ice skating. It was a lovely way to spend the afternoon and it felt good to be back on the ice again after my accident just over a year ago. My back is completely fine now but my confidence has definitely been knocked.

It's been an incredibly cold week here, with temperatures down to -6. We've experienced snow, frost and ice and thankfully the new boiler I had fitted last year hasn't had any issues. The same couldn't be said for my old TV, however, which after 16 years of loyal service, finally gave up, and there is now a shiny new model in it's place. 

It is early on Saturday morning and the wintry weather has been replaced by cloud and rain. Lily's tennis lesson has been cancelled, and so a more relaxed weekend is in order. It comes as quite a relief actually, as it will give me a chance to catch up. There are a few chores I could do with getting out of the way. Then again, besides the weekly shop, it's no big deal if they don't get done. The main thing I need to do is to write a menu plan. Since returning to work my hours have changed (yet again!). Only slightly on this occasion, but I am finding it even more of a challenge to make healthy choices when it comes to eating and I have noticed my energy levels have slumped. I realise preparation is the key, but with being short on time I clearly I haven't been prepared enough. I will clean out the fridge and make that my priority today. 

J. X

Goodbye January

I never have cared very much for January. For many it begins with Auld Lang Syne, New Year's resolutions, and sometimes a 'word of the year'. For me, however, it has often brought with it much uncertainty, unexpected challenges and even loss. As you can imagine, I usually dread the start of a new year, and I realise my feelings of apprehension and foreboding only serve to exaggerate any existing sense of impending doom. Some years, I have tried my hardest to remain upbeat and positive, but that didn't particularly help - I don't think I was convincing anyone, especially not myself! 

This year, I have tried a far more gentle approach. I found myself quietly going about my days, not putting any pressure on myself and simply focusing on my working week - with the occasional walk on the weekends when the weather has allowed. My pace has been unhurried and slower, taking things day by day. And even though I've not been quite as productive as usual, what I have achieved has been far more intentional, and this is exactly what I need just now. A time to heal, a time to let go, a time to just simply 'be'. My absence in this space has been deliberate, just dipping in now and again to enjoy a quick read. I had hoped that if I kept my head down, and quietly tiptoed my way through the month, then the more unwelcome parts might simply pass me by. And for the most part this has been the case, although I am sure this has been more to do with fortunate coincidence than anything I may or may not have actually done :)

I am happy to report that my back is recovering well after the 'incident'. I discovered that continued gentle movement has helped far more than simply resting, and although I have yet to attempt going for a run, I'm sure it won't be too far off. I have kept walks at a low level, partly with me being uncertain of my abilities just now, but mainly because of the awful wet weather. Even on dry days, it has been incredibly cold, and on the higher fells the snow and ice would have been far too treacherous for walking.

Whilst out of the main tourist season, we have ventured to some parts of The Lakes which would usually be quite busy, and therefore not particularly enjoyable to visit.  Right now, they are peaceful and quiet, just as I like it. 

I have also been spending this last month being more mindful of my diet. Stodgy sandwiches have been replaced by some very tasty salads. I've found preparation is the key, rather than finding myself reaching for the quickest solution when I am feeling hungry. And I am trying very hard not to give into temptation too often, which is easier said than done when I have such a sweet tooth :) I am still providing a cake for the Warm Space each week, so at least I can still have the enjoyment of baking. And last week, I spent a busy evening in the kitchen making marmalade. One day I might even manage to do it without getting both myself and the kitchen into such a sticky mess! Never mind, it tastes delicious. I couldn't bring myself to make any last year, as my dad would have been the first person I would have given a jar to. He used to joke that he found it easier walking on the days he had enjoyed some - because of the added brandy!

It has been a quiet few weeks, for which I am relieved. And now I hope to spend some time catching up properly with everyone over the next few days. 

J. X

Helloooo!

 

Just popping in to say thank you to those of you who have messaged me with good wishes and to enquire as to my wellbeing. The last few weeks have been a little more stressful than I would have liked and I've been absent for longer than I intended, but I am completely fine.

I've been keeping busy juggling work and home, and then trying my best to ensure I enjoy some time to relax at the weekend. I've made it to the end of January in one piece - just! The days are getting longer and brighter and snowdrops are appearing along the sides of the lanes.

Back soon.

J. Xx

New Year

Although, not quite so new anymore, I was actually a little surprised when I wrote out the date this morning. Where did the time go! I've ambled into this new year quite uneventfully, which is always a relief, as for many years it was never a good time for me. If something was going to knock me sideways it would generally happen at New Year, so now I often find myself braced and prepared for the inevitable. But thankfully, on this occasion, it was completely unnecessary.

The decorations got packed away during that first weekend and, although the house initially looked a bit empty and bare, it was good to give everything a thorough clean and tidy. I couldn't believe how long it took me, however, but I do like taking care to store everything away properly. And yes, I remember exactly where I've packed the little bells :)

There have been a few firsts here this week - first day back at work and school, first run of the year (first of many, I hope) and first fell walk of the year. The weather has mainly been grey and damp, with the occasional sunny day to brighten the spirits. Like most of us, I've been feeling very January-ish. It is definitely not my favourite time of year, especially with it being so dark. It often feels as though the day doesn't begin properly until around mid-morning. Fortunately we have one or two nice things planned over the next couple of weeks, so that will be something to look forward to, at least.

Our fell walk took place on the day before school started back. The forecast was good, so I didn't want to miss the opportunity to get out, but being rather chilly and the fact I knew it would be very windy on the higher fells, I decided it was best to keep to the lower ground where we could, at least, enjoy looking at the other snow covered summits. As I am not an experienced hiker and I would never take risks, so it was a lovely surprise to discover that even on this smaller summit there was quite a generous covering of white powdery snow. Not such a nice surprise, however, to discover that the narrow road to the starting point of the walk was more than a little bit sketchy. Still, we made it...just! The initial climb was quite steep. I had originally planned to walk the route in the opposite direction, but on arrival I changed my mind, as it wouldn't have made for the easiest descent in the snow. The views were stunning and, as always, it was lovely to see the fells from a different perspective, and perhaps pick out which one to climb next.

The walk itself was fairly short, and as it was so cold, it was decided we would eat our lunch back at the car. I was glad I had taken some hot Winter Spice with to warm me up - the squash, not the vodka on this occasion  :) And, thankfully, the road had cleared of ice on our return.

At work, just when I think my hours have settled down, I have been asked to provide extra cover from time to time. I don't really mind, as I quite enjoy taking on a variety of roles. 

At home, I have been  ruthlessly tidying. The dining room has seen some serious cleaning and, when I get the chance, I will be working my way through the rest of the house. My houseplants have all been receiving some tender loving care, and as much daylight as I'm able to provide. This week I took delivery of some citrus compost (I never even knew there was such a thing!) and my little lemon trees have now all been re-potted. Several of them have sprouted some fresh new shoots since Christmas and I'm determined to keep them thriving for as long as possible. I'm trying my best to ignore the current muddy mess which is the garden, as besides regularly cleaning and replenishing the bird feeder, I think I'll be better off waiting until the weather improves. It is making me incredibly happy to see we're getting a regular stream of feathered visitors, especially when I put out some mealworms. 

J. X

January Brings the Snow

I never intended to leave it this long between posts. More than in previous years, this January has been a long and tedious month. Always my least favourite time of the year, it has proved even more challenging than usual. The cold weather and lack of sunshine, along with the limitations of lockdown restrictions are enough to test even the most positive outlook -  and I was never blessed with one of those :) 

Still, I've been keeping busy, although I am beginning to grow weary of the repetitive days. Much like last year, for now at least, my diary remains empty aside from birthdays and anniversaries. Weekdays are filled with home learning - both Lily's and mine, and with much more structure than during the first lockdown there is a greater expectation to keep on track, leaving us with little time to relax. 

With  tensions running high one day last week, I holed myself up in the kitchen making marmalade. I was pleasantly surprised by the therapeutic properties of carefully shredding the orange peel, the delicious aroma of simmering oranges and, of course, the finished product made it all worth the effort, especially with the added brandy. My taste buds definitely approve and peace was restored.

As you can see, we've had some more snow. Both snowfalls came as quite a surprise. The first covering lasted a while longer than the second, which disappointingly began to thaw later that same day but it still looked so lovely for a short time. Tomorrow is the start of a new month. In January it often feels as though time is standing still and I'm just marking the days until I see them noticeably begin to lengthen. Evidence our wheel is turning.

This afternoon I saw some lambs in the field. Spring is on it's way. 

J. X

January

 

This wasn't the start to the New Year that I'd hoped for but even though I've found the last week rather challenging, I woke this morning determined to shake myself out from my feelings of melancholy. I can't help but think that it's going to take a whole lot longer than expected before we see a change to the current situation and I need to become more accepting of this.

The snow all but disappeared overnight and today the fells were hidden from view by a dense fog. The temperature had risen above freezing for the first time in a week, and for once my morning routine did not include tentatively treading across the frosty garden to check the bird seed and replenish the water. From the kitchen window I could still see two thick discs of ice, which had been previously emptied from the water tray, laying stubbornly at the edge of the grass but even they had thawed by midday.

We're back to home learning once again and, after an intermittent start, we've got the hang of the new system. Already it seems to be working much better than the platform we used last time. Instead of completing all the work during the morning, I've been breaking it down into several short twenty minute sections slotted throughout the day, as I've discovered this more relaxed approach works better for us.

I'm still working every day, and this gives me a sense of routine and normality. 

We are getting out walking most afternoons, although keeping our routes close to home for the time being. The winter sun has been beautiful in the woods and it's lovely to see the snowdrops are almost in flower. Wearing lots of warm layers has been essential in the freezing temperatures but more often than not Lily will still insist on removing her jacket. Children just don't seem to feel the cold do they.

Christmas already feels like a long time ago and although most of our decorations were taken down last week, I've left the wooden snowflakes, a star and Lily's snow globe on display. Also, to keep a cosy glow in the kitchen I've kept my little tree in the corner, complete with lights. I'm happy to see it has some fresh green shoots on some of it's branches. 

I went for a short run this morning and as I passed by the fields which, in a few weeks, will be full of lambs, I  reminded myself spring is just around the corner. 

J. X